Sunday, April 13, 2008

Ah, the resplendent madness of it all...

At times, I must admit that I feel lonely and useless.

My friends are scattered to the winds.

Frostbyte has finally gone off to finish his bachelor's degree, while I have not.

Flaco Mexicano has a wife and two kids, whilst I remain the dateless wonder.

Dirty Viking has a fiance and a good job that lets him be around planes(which makes him happy), and I'm working the same shit dead-end job I've been working and am, as I stated previously, cold and alone.

And of course, Poquito Rojo is out causing for real the mayhem I can only cause in theory.

This may seem like the whiny ramblings of some fucking moron, but in point of fact, it is these things that keep me pressing onward. With friends who accomplish great things, I am forced to somehow keep up the fight, because failure is not an option for me. No matter how shitty the situation may be, I just can't bring myself to tap out. Granted, you may very well hear me saying "Fuck my life." with great regularity, but those are the moments that force me to keep fighting. They are the reason I don't drink very often, and why I will never touch narcotics, and why I will never settle for good enough. These are all ways of copping out, ways to escape reality and pretend that your life doesn't suck.

Me? I see to it that I am always painfully aware of exactly how lame my current standard of living is. In doing so, I create for myself only two paths: I can call it quits, find some shite career, and fall back into the tepid embrace of mediocrity. Or I can forge ahead, and fight to the last breath. Whether I succeed beyond my wildest dreams, or fail in entirety, I will always be able to say that I tried. Win or lose, I tried. I know far too many people that gave up their dreams in exchange for health benefits and casual fridays. I will not be one of them.

I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing, but I'll be damned if I'm going to stop now!

I am Crazy Bastard, and nothing will ever change that.

Salaam Aleykum, Bitches!


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