Ponderings at 3 in the morning

Mastication: It sounds dirty, but you can do it in front of your grandparents!
Nipples: Who the hell decided to call them that? Why not call them "Launchpads to Adventure"?
Lugubrious: I know what it means, but it still sounds dirty.
Bucolic: Same as above.
Fast food places are always a hell of a lot more fun at three in the morning.
Women always find me much more charming at this time of the night.
There are dirty movies on Cinemax!
I like pudding. No, really, I mean it: I like pudding.
Hampsters have nipples.
For that matter, so do I. Not sure why, though.
My wang itches.
Microwave burritos kick ass!
Hawaiian women are unimagineably hot.
That is all.