Allo allo, naughty monkeys!

It's been a while, hasn't it, my pets?

I could take the time to tell you that I've had the hours I work cut in half, thereby reducing my pay. I could tell you that I'm bound for Banjoland later this month, to see Grandfather one last time before he passes. I could tell you that I got to see Poquito Rojo in mid-September, and that we got so piss drunk, I couldn't walk.

I could spend the few precious minutes of free time that I have telling you all about my opinions on the state of the world. About how our satellites stop working when they pass over China, because those vertically challenged geniuses are using lasers to blind the satellites whenever they pass over Chinese airspace. I could point out that the media specifically chose not to release that particular story. I could rant and rave about how China is not going to be our whipping boy for much longer. How feigning weakness is one of The Thirty-Six Stratagems the Chinese and their proxies use to fight us or lull us into a false sense of confidence. I could warn of a conflict of epic proportions that is not too far off, and that nobody seems to realize is coming.

But I won't.



Instead, I will simply say that my balls itch, I need more sleep, and Hawaiian women are hot. I bid you good day.


Salaam Aleykum, Bitches!