Thursday, June 29, 2006

Quick thought:

Politicians should not be making decisions about combat tactics. Rear echelon people cannot effectively make decisions for people in the front lines. This is not prompted by anything I saw in the news, I'm just stating for the record. And if you want another opinion on the matter, just ask any soldier deployed in the field what they think, and they will tel you the same thing, only with more colorful language. Or, better yet, ask Michael J. Durant. Or any other member of Task Force Ranger. Hell, ask troops serving in the Great Sandbox right now. Bureaucrats have no place in the world of soldiers. Yet, they are inexplicably allowed to make choices that will affect the troops on the ground severely. This is bullshit. But, alas, I'm just one crazy man in a very large country. Malesh.

Salaam Aleykum, Bitches!

Monday, June 19, 2006

Somebody kick out the jams, dammit!

Okay, so first things first. I got a new job, and that is cause for celebration. As such, the Dirty Viking and I split a large bottle of Jagermeister (best alcohol ever) in celebration. And, as the inebriated have a tendency to do, we got to talking. We covered a wide variety of subjects, up to and including our shared fondness of Polynesian women (Asian features + Latin curves= Good Times!) , when we came to the issue of immigration, yet again. The D.V. and I both believe in immigration reform, and we have both worked side-by-side with Mexican laborers, so we have a greater appreciation for what they do than most people. Anyhoo, we were discussing less beauracratic ways for people to gain citizenship, when we hit upon a novel concept: Let them serve in the military to earn their citizenship! Form a separate force of troops composed of foreigners wishing to earn citizenship, without taking the usual route. In the Roman Empire, barbarian peoples served in the auxilia, or reserves, for twenty years, then were rewarded for their services by being made citizens of the empire. The way I figure it, we could create a rather sizeable force of soldiers by offering immigrants citzenship in exchange for military service. They would be earning the right to become citizens, plus, the draft would become a pointless concept, since the need for more troops could be filled by more potential citizens. The way I see it, it's a win-win situation. And while serving in the military, part of their training would be learning English throughout their service time, so when they are released, they are relatively fluent in the native language. This idea is directed more towards men and women from Latin countries, but it could just as easily apply to any other groups that are interested. Additionally, we should recruit soldiers from Afghanistan and Iraq to serve in specialized units, like the British did with Nepalese Gurkhas. It's a strange thought, I know, but it does merit consideration. Instead of making enemies out of these groups, we should make them allies and friends. It could work, it would just take time. Unfortunately, it will probably never work, because the American public has all the attention span of a retarded fruit fly. If it takes more than ten years to accomplish, we aren't interested. Hijo de la chingada! Schiesse! Putan pe'ei! And your mothers ass! Dammit. I'm a misunderstood genius and/or sex bomb. Ah, well. In'sha'allah.

Salaam Aleykum, Bitches!

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Gilded tallywhackers for everyone!

I got a new job today, and I start in an hour. I'm so happy, I could shit! As a matter of fact, I think I will. Always remember, there is always someone cleverer that yourself. Or bigger. Or that has a gun. Or a really good attorney. As a point of fact, you're pretty much fucked, no matter what you do. Life's a bitch, and then someone makes you their's.

p.s. Listen anonymous, if you're spamming me, I'll..well, I probably won't do anything. But by golly, I sure won't like you very much. Sort of. I don't know. Malesh.

Salaam Aleykum, Bitches!

Monday, June 05, 2006

Another Poetic Interlude:

There once was a man with five arms,
Who stole food from the neighboring farms,
He ate meat from a spit,
And then took a shit,
That set off all the nearby alarms!

Thank You.

Raise the board and gas the ammunition!

The election is tomorrow, here in Californication, and I am still vexed, annoyed, and even perturbed. The propositions are all bullshit, the main candidates are pretty much all douchebags, and I'm sweaty! The last one isn't really related to the first two, but it's hot, and therefore I am displeased. Though, to be fair, the government has done a great job of ignoring global warming; so in a roundabout way, my being sweaty really is the politicians' fault! Hooray! Mark one up for the good guys...or the lazy guys...wait, I forget- who am I talking about? Something about jam? I don't know, I'm sweaty. Fucking global warming.

To all of you out there who drive SUVs: FUCK YOU! AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON! AND SO FORTH! ETCETERA, ETCETERA! NIPPLES! TALLY FORTH AND WHAT HO, Ha-HAH!

Salaam Aleykum, Bitches!