Huzzah!

Well, my sister had a birthday this last weekend, and the Dirty Viking and I got quite tipsy. And no, I did not write the last post drunk; sadly, I was very, very sober. That said, I have little to say right now; maybe I'll update again later today. Then again, maybe not. By the way, Tia Carrere is really hot. I'd like to have sex with her, if you know what I mean! Ah, well. Time flies when you shag a nun.

Ah Salaam aleah coom, Bitches!

This has never been written before.

Wham thud pow to the bang bang boogie, boogie to the woogie come on. No thank you, Helen, I couldn't eat another bite. Sexual disorientation, and the coked-up porn star doesn't fear death! Refried shoelaces take the express lane to the great hereafter. Mud puddle lollipop, crashing on a purple mountain. The ocean of shattered hearts fills a blind man's soul, but the fire still lingers beyond. Testicular defibrillation for the unpleasantly brilliant and anal sex for the huddled masses. The pie was delicious, but the kangaroo stole my man flower. My spoon is too big! The cat is wearing tube socks, and for your information, plenty of people touch themselves inappropriately when watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Feces occurs, existence continues. I'm so happy, I could kick a socialist.
END COMMUNICATION.

Eat, Drink, and be Hairy, for Tommorrow We Fry.

Please, sweet mother of God, don't let my words go unheeded. We have got to knock off this shit with Iran; if Israel has issues, fine. We'll help them out. But we shouldn't be goading Iran like we are. We are simply inviting another attack on our own soil, and believe you me, they are not going to hit New York a second time. If they launch a second attack, their target will be the West coast. To make matters worse, I strongly believe that this time the attack won't be with hijacked aircraft; this time I fear they will go nuclear. I know, I know, the analysts say the chances are very small, some say nonexistent, but I believe what I've said is true. Call me crazy if you want, but the problem is real, nonetheless. In'sha'allah, perhaps this will all blow over, and once again, I will be considered a nut job. But, if the worst should happen, let no one say that the attack was a blindside. Though I could say the same thing about China, I'll save that particular theory for another day. Ah, malesh.

Ah Salaam aleah coom, Bitches!

SHAKE AND BAKE!

Quick thought for the day: Iran is a real bitch. But it's not our bitch. Let Israel deal with them. ALONE. Hell, they've been asking us to just let them do their thing for thirty years. All we have to do is just STAY OUT OF IT! Trust me, the Israelis know how to take care of themselves; they don't need our help, and they most certainly don't desire our interference. Just let them run. Que sera, sera. Just a thought.

Ah Salaam aleah coom, Bitches!

To those who love the c%$k, I salute you!

I don't think I'll write anything this time, because I'm T to the H squared. (Tired, Hungry, and Horny) As such, I'm in no condition to express outrage and bitchiness to the vaguely discriminatig public. As though anyone actually reads this shit.

Ah Salaam aleah coom, Bitches!

Why am I not surprised?

John McCain has said that there were not enough votes in the senate for his "guest worker" bill to pass. And so, the Republican party has once again screwed itself. They may have won in the battle of immigration, but they have also guaranteed that we probably won't have another Republican president any time soon, Unless Senator McCain changes his mind. Even then, there's a good chance the Republicans will fuck that up, as well. I don't want ten years of Democrats in charge again. I just got my rifle, and if the Democrats take control again, I'll lose it. FUCK!!!!! We need a viable third party! Dammit, something must be done! Hello?! I'm so alone. Chinga le!

Ah Salaam aleah coom, Bitches!